It has been 6 months since I started feeling the overwhelming sick of another deep depression.

It has been 4 months since I started feeling so sick and began the investigation into yet another series of chronic illness symptoms.

It has been 2 months since I had my first exploratory procedure and minor surgery.

It has been 1 month since my second exploratory procedure.

It has been 2 weeks since my doctor told me that she thought she knew what was going on.

It has been 1 week since my confirmation procedure.

It is 2 days until I have my follow up appointment with my doctor to find out if what she thinks is going on is actually what is going on.

There have been so many crazy things going on in the world. Politically, global pandemic-wise, human rights, women’s rights, BIPOC, AAPI, Asian Canadian, indigenous reconciliation, Afghanistan, far right zealotry, mental health issues as demonstrated by Simone Biles at the Olympics, and the list goes on and on.

These are all things that I care deeply about, and all things that I would love to express my opinion on. These are all things that if I remain silent, I am part of the problem on.

But therein lies the rub – I am unable to form coherent, relatively water-tight arguments. My brain and energy are being run ragged by the persistent pain, depression, anxiety and exhaustion that is sitting on my neck like a weight.

This is not a call for sympathy. I am used to it. I know that my spoon drawer is running on empty these days. I know that I need to go to yoga, and eat properly, and get enough sleep, and manage my stress, and exercise, and focus my attention on the important things like my family and my work. I know this and I am doing these things.

This is instead a request for action. That when you see injustices that you speak to them. That you do not forget that Black Lives Matter, and that Trans Rights are Human Rights, and that Love Is Love, and that the Highway of Tears is an ongoing tragedy, and that MMIWG are still murdered and missing, and that mental health is as critical as physical health, and that “women belong in all the places where decisions are being made”.



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