Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
My son. My gifted son. My funny son. My son who has ADHD. My son with the sarcastic wit of a much older human. My son who is so much like my brother.
My son challenges me, and then turns around and is the sweetest, cuddliest child in the universe. My brother is gifted. My brother is clever. My brother has a killer sense of humour. My brother who has ADHD.
He is a hero to my son, because he is the cool uncle, but also because he thinks like my son does. He is an example to my boy of what having a brain like theirs can do. He shows my boy that being gifted and having ADHD can be significant sources of strength to build an amazing life.
My son is my brother’s biggest fan (maybe second after his wife, but a close second). He was beyond excited to get to be the proud owners of Daz3D merch!!
If he could sleep in his hat, I’m pretty sure that he would.
Seeing my brother love my son so much, while helping me understand how to raise him in the most healthfully, strong way possible fills my heart with joy and gratitude.
P.S. My boy is pretty particular about what I can post about him. This picture was with his permission, because he wanted to “advertise” for Uncle Ty. In our family, that’s love.
Today’s session involved the infamous Doll Test and participating the Harvard Project Implicit to determine our implicit biases.
Once again, I invite you to participate in this healing work. It’s not enough to wear a T-shirt bought off Amazon that says Black Lives Matter (which may or may not actually provide funds or support to the cause). We have the opportunity now to make true, deep, permanent change. Thank you to everyone who is doing this meaningful work. Doing the hard stuff that will bring us out on the other side in a world that sees equality for all people.
Let’s talk for a minute about why white women need to get on board with fixing the white supremacist society that we live in – white women were granted suffrage on the backs of BIPOC. In the USA, Susan B. Anthony sided with white supremacists and took funding from them, fighting for an English-literate, educated electorate to intentionally leave out black people, Aboriginals and immigrants. In Canada, our Mother of Women’s Rights, Nellie McClung was an ardent eugenicist, determined to enforce the sterilization of Indigenous and immigrant women. Literally obliterating all but Anglo-Christian Canadians.
We need to talk about how white women can work to end oppression. We need to understand our roles in this society. For me, there is a tension between my white ancestors and my indigenous ancestors – I present as white, and thereby benefit from this culture, but my heritage is Métis. There is the erasure (Thank you, Brenna Duperron, PhD Candidate, for that word) of my heritage, through the Canadian system of whitewashing to create a nation of white Canadians.
This is where intersectionality comes in – imagine the challenges facing women. Now imagine being a LGBTQ BIWOC with a chronic illness. Imagine that each one of those intersections create their own challenges in mainstream society (it shouldn’t be hard… because each one of those are not generally accepted in the mainstream) and check to see how your privilege has you benefiting where these sisters are being oppressed.
If you read all the way to here hoping I could suggest how to fix this problem, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I do not have the answers. All I can tell you is to please be open minded and learn as much as you can from legitimate sources; and every time you learn something, use it. To quote Dr Maya Angelou – do the best that you can, until you know better; when you know better, do better.
#DoTheWork Challenge Day 3 – before we can be anti-racist, we need to see what white privilege has wrought on our BIPOC brothers and sisters.
I cannot stress enough how much I value this challenge full of curated content by Rachel Cargle. Danielle and I are doing this and I sincerely hope that you will join in!
When we say that Black Lives Matter, we need to understand that “matter” is the minimum. We need to do the work to clean up centuries of oppression, and some of that is uncomfortable- like watching a video of a lynching, or seeing the destroyed face of Emmett Till, or hearing people declare that segregation is “right”, or seeing that the prison industrial complex is an economic advantage to white supremacy by using BIPOC as slave labour, even in countries where slavery is illegal.
I will include a link below to Ms. Cargle’s page, and I hope you join us in unlearning white supremacy.
Mornings can be hard. Coffee helps! I am so excited that my Four Sigmatic Lion’s Mane mushroom coffee Think showed up in time to start my day.
Ground Coffee with Lion’s Mane and Chaga (16 servings) – Get your brain going without leaving your body behind. Lion’s Mane and Chaga keeps the caffeine under control to support clean, focused energy.
“Coffee with the best of nature Coffee is great for energy—it just often comes with a side of jitters and the dreaded mid-day crash. Lion’s Mane and Chaga support a balanced mind and body to avoid coffee’s dark side. You’ll have to find another excuse for mid-day naps.”
Organic, vegan, fair trade, 0 g of sugar, 3rd party lab tested, Four Sigmatic coffee is also delicious!
Try it with the code KALIDESAUTELSREADS for 10% off your order! Check out this link!Shop Four Sigmatic!
Day 2 of Rachel Cargle’s 30 Day #DoTheWork Challenge.
It is not her job as a WOC to teach me how to be a good person; how to care about the foundations of white supremacy; how to face the advantages that people like me – people who present as white – enjoy simply because people see me as a white woman; how these advantages are causing direct harm to my Indigenous brothers and sisters, and other BIPOC.
It is not her job, but she has done this nonetheless. She has created teachings and lessons and writings on this very subject, and she has made much of it available for free or by donation.
So not only has she done this for us, but she is asking for nothing in return other than for us to learn and DO THE WORK.
For us to take our knee off of her neck.
So please, please, please, please join me in this learning. And join me in expressing the deepest gratitude to her for doing all this work to clean up OUR mess.
#dothework – I am gratefully participating in Rachel Cargle’s Great Unlearn. I can only recommend that if you see yourself as, or wish to become a Ally that you take yourself over to her page and begin to do the work.
Just so you are aware – it will make you uncomfortable. Please try to let go of defensiveness and listen. Learn. And keep coming back.
This is quoted from Irène Némirovsky’s novella Storm In June, the first Act in her WWII saga Suite Francaise. Némirovsky was a Ukrainian Jewish Refugee, who ultimately died in Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp. She knew all too well about which she was writing.Please remember that refugees do not flee their homes because they want to. They are trying to survive and to save their families. Remember that they are individuals and families, not a mass or a herd. They need help, not apathy. Do you not find it scary that in 2017 something that was written in 1942 is still so achingly current? When will we learn?
My girl has been singing the lyrics to Hamilton for years, though she has never seen the show. We have been listening and singing along to the soundtrack on every car ride over 15 minutes long, and so when it was announced that, firstly there would be a film in the theatres in October, and then that it would be released early on Disney+, she was so excited that she set up a countdown by the HOUR until it was released.
Watching this play that has meant so much to her, singing along with the diverse cast during a time when this is exactly what we need to represent, with strong female characters, filled my heart with gratitude and joy.
She has watched it 3 full times since it was released. I have a feeling that it will be played many, many more times.