Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
My baby is going into her last year before high school. Seriously not ready for my little one to be so grown up!!!
Struggling with mean girls and body image and fashion and school and all the things preteen girls seem to struggle with, and the added bonus of COVID is making her less excited about back to school than I wish for her to be, but it will be ok. It has to be. She has a village of strong women and men who love her and model strength and cheer her on.
In the meantime, I can just cuddle her and help her organize the disaster of clothes in her bedroom and get ready for another year.
“First they came for the Communists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists And I did not speak out Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews And I did not speak out Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me And there was no one left To speak out for me” ~ Martin Niemöller
We are seeing this today. Again. Still.
When we stand by, claiming that it is not our problem, we are the problem.
If we don’t speak up for others, we can not have an expectation that others will speak for us.
Say what you will, but I would rather be an easily offended, soft hearted, liberal snowflake who refuses to be ok with allowing racism, sexism, bigotry, Randian selfishness, than to look around one day as they lead me off to be Hitler’s proverbial personal prisoner, like Niemöller.
Hey everyone. I hope you are all having a lovely weekend, and have had some time to rest before the end of summer.
I haven’t posted much lately, because my coping skills have been poor. I shrink into myself when I can’t cope. I have made mistakes, dealt with some minor and major stresses, taken my cat to the vet, and was thrown for a loop when the Chadwick Boseman news came out.
This hit hard because the cancer that took Mr. Boseman too soon was the same as the one that Dave has been cured of. I am thinking of his family and friends at this time and taking a moment to reflect on the blessings bestowed by the Universe on my family. They were both diagnosed at Stage III and while I do not know and can never know what turns Mr. Boseman’s specific cancer took, I am counting my blessings that Dave’s took a different route.
I strive to be as transparent as possible with my struggles with depression and anxiety because I believe that sharing these struggles makes me stronger and opens the door for others to follow.
What this past week has shown me is that I need a tune-up of my mental health toolkit. I need to find better ways to cope because I can’t simply give into overwhelm. I need to find better ways to cope and to fill myself with gratitude that I have a support system of family and friends that know when I need more help. My support system enabled my husband to become a cancer survivor, and instead of feeling anxiety when cancer takes someone too soon, I need to send up a quiet prayer of thanks that Dave wasn’t one of them.
I am so sorry that Mr. Boseman’s family is grieving his loss. If I believed that ”sending thoughts and prayers” would help, I would gladly send them. In the meantime, I am taking some time to breathe, sit with my complete family and watch Chadwick Boseman as the superhero that 2020 needs – Black Panther.
I apologize for rambling, but as I wrote – my coping skills are poor right now, which means that my writing is perhaps not as coherent as it might be.
I leave you with this beautiful image of Mr. Boseman and a picture of my beautiful, raggedy old man.
Posted @withregram • @shaunking An armed white supremacist with an AR-15 shot and KILLED two people in Kenosha, Wisconsin last night – and police literally did NOTHING. In fact, I’ve seen videos of them giving water to these armed white men, thanking them for their support.
What do you get when you take a raggedy old man and a little old lady and put them together for the weekend?
A lot of this lol
Miss Charlie came to visit for the weekend and, save for a couple of hisses, low growls, food stealing, and some “bathroom” mishaps, we have had a very, very quiet weekend. The good news is that I am also, essentially, an 80 year old cat, and I also like laying in the living room with a blanket, going for walks, and eating snacks.
We are very grateful that Ty and Danielle let us spend the weekend with this sweet old girl. She has definitely been a lovely weekend visitor and fit in nicely with our crew.
“I think I am in trouble for having accidents all over the house early this morning. I want to sit with Mama because she makes me feel better, but I also want to hide in case she is mad at me.
I know! I’ll hide behind the back of her desk chair! Then I am with Mama AND hiding! I’m so smart!” ~ Timon
For the record – he isn’t in trouble. It’s hard to be mad at my 17 year old raggedy man for having an accident (or three). But it does mean that he gets to go to the vet soon for a check up!
My book has been out in the world for almost 3 months now. It has been downloaded to from Kindle Unlimited, it has been purchased in paperback, it has been read on the Kindle app in places across the world. I was completely shocked to see it was being read by people in Brazil and India, because I don’t even know people who live there, so they couldn’t be my mom! (Who is, as always, my biggest supporter and the person who purchased the most books from my sold list! ❤️)
What does it mean to have my book in the world? It means that when I look on my bookshelf I can see my name on the spine of a real book. It means that friends and family reach out and tell me that they feel like they know me better for it. It is a new way of presenting information and allowing people who ordinarily wouldn’t have read my blog to read and hear my stories.
It means normalizing things that I was once afraid to talk about: mental health, feminism, politics, motherhood, marriage, goals. Am I an expert on any of those topics? Of course, and of course not! I am an expert insofar as we are all experts of our own lives. I am an expert in the day to day living of the stories in this book. But I am not an expert on the field of mental health, I am not a feminist scholar, I am not a doctor, I am not a politician, I am not a marriage counsellor, I am not a childhood expert. I am just me.
But if you like my content, or enjoy my blog, and find it relatable, I am asking you to please check out my book! 🙂
My goal for 2020 is to regain control of my finances. I was doing really well, and then stumbled and just as I was about to fall back through the proverbial rabbit hole, someone that I love and admire tossed me a rope and gave me the choice to pull myself back up, or to just keep falling.
I chose to grab the rope. So this weekend’s read is Talk Money To Me by Kelley Keehn, to rededicate myself to a goal that is both important and will have lifelong implications to myself and my family.
What were your goals for the year? Are they still attainable more than halfway through the year? Are they attainable in COVID-19?
Today is a day that feels like a lot. Scratch that – I have been feeling this way for the last month. I began to feel panicked and overwhelmed for no particular reason other than that I am me, and that’s my fabulous coping mechanism. (I’m like a meerkat – fear = freeze + hide)
That said, I have changed my mind. I have decided that I will NOT panic; I will change my mindset. I pulled up pictures from our weekend of camping, and stepped away from the things that seem to be causing stress. I started singing to myself “don’t worry, about a thing. Every little thing, is gonna be alright.”
It will be alright. It is alright. I have what I need in my life. Dave is officially one year cancer-free. My kids are both healthy and as happy as pre-teens can be reasonably expected to be. I have a home. I have a loving family. I have supportive and caring friends. My cat is still here to demand pets and kick me off my chair. I have a job that I truly love and that means the world to me. I have colleagues that I respect, and leaders that I admire. I am not directly effected by COVID. I have food to healthfully provide to myself and my family. I have a mode of transportation that doesn’t require public transit.
All in all – I have a pretty charmed life. So I have changed my mind. I will not let myself wallow and focus on the parts that are scary. I will make the conscious choice to be happy and content.
Kali J Desautels 