Welcome to my little corner of the internet.
Yesterday, I went to the office for the first time since March 5th to collect my things and officially become a work from home mama. While I was unpacking, my girl found my blue light glasses, and made them her own.
I cannot believe that this young woman is my baby girl. She is nearly as tall as me, stronger than me, clever and funny and whimsical. When I grow up, I want to be just like her ❤️
Sleep is not always my best friend. Insomnia and I are much more likely to be hanging out at bedtime, so I am taking a minute to enjoy the Four Sigmatic Mushroom Cocoa mix.
It smells soooooo yummy and feels like a hug from grandma. (No, seriously, it does.) Made with reishi mushrooms, I get the relaxing benefits, with no mushroom taste.
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You move slowly now, and jumping is harder. You aren’t that interested in knocking Christmas ornaments off the tree anymore, and you are picky about what you will eat. You are vocal about what you want and are patient and loving to your kids. You notice when our schedule shifts and we aren’t where you expect us to be. Your eyesight has faded and your ear infections have become more frequent.
You can tell when I am sad or sore or scared. You can tell when I can’t handle life, and are never far away from me. You trip me, walk all over me, and sit next to me. You smack me when I am not paying enough attention to you.
You are my raggedy old man. My fur baby. My sweet boy. For 12 years you have been my companion and I love you with all of my heart. There was a time when I didn’t think I liked animals all that much, but you? You have never counted into that. You are the friend I need when I don’t want anyone around. You are a constant presence in my life and when I think about the age that shows on your progressively greying head, I feel teary thinking that at 16 years old there are more years behind you than in front of you.
I can never thank you enough for being my very own raggedy old man. I love you, my sweet boy.
Thinking of the health care workers, public health workers, grocery workers, and teachers who are leaving their families at home, and walking into the second wave of the pandemic.
Thank you for everything that you are doing. Thank you for keeping the world moving forward. Thank you for keeping us safe.
I want to also take a moment to recognize how grateful I am to live in Canada where we have socialized healthcare. Where we can visit the doctor whether we can afford insurance or not. Where we can take care of our babies without going into medical bankruptcy.
Thank you.
Saturdays are for TARDIS onesies, Supernatural, coffee, Christmas trees, candles and cuddling with my kids.
I do not take my privilege in this crazy time lightly –
• I get to work from home
• I can keep my kids home
• I can afford to order my groceries and have them put directly into my trunk without sharing my germs
• I have underlying health conditions, but none that impede my ability to wear a mask
• I can order Christmas gifts for my kids mostly from home, even while supporting local shops
• My family is safe and sound and healthy
I do not qualify as an essential worker, but some of my friends do. With the case counts going up in BC, but few measures being put into place, I am trying to make sure that, for the sake of those who do not have the same privileges as me, I am keeping my bubble small and sticking close to home.
Thank you to everyone who doesn’t get to spend your Saturdays in TARDIS onesies, watching the Winchesters hunting things and saving people. Thank you for working on the frontlines to keep the world going.
You are remembered. You are valued. You are loved.
Today is for you. Today is for remembering the light that you shone. Today is for meaningful and systemic change in your name. Today is pushing back on the hate and violence that led you here. Today is for shining a light on your beautiful souls.
Today is for you.
Today is not a day for allies to feel pleased with ourselves for being allies.
RePosted @itgetsbetter Thinking of all the folks that have lost their lives to anti-trans violence. You are remembered. 💗💙 #TDOR
Life isn’t perfect. Especially right now.
COVID numbers are going up in my province.
There was an exposure at my kids’ school that by the time I found out about it, it was too late to quarantine them.
I spent more money in October than I should have, so in November I am feeling the pinch.
I dropped below the 10K followers that I worked so hard to reach and maintain.
My anxiety level is hovering around an 8 all the time, and I am not sure if I can remember what it feels like to not have a knot in my shoulders.
BUT…
Christmas isn’t stopped by COVID.
Christmas trees don’t need to go undecorated.
Presents don’t need to go unmade.
Christmas cards do not need to go I sent.
Carols do not need to go I played.
We still have Miracle on 34th St, and Love Actually, and Mickey Mouse A Christmas Carol.
We still have cookies to bake.
We still have tidings of good cheer.
We can still donate to the causes that matter to us (can I recommend that you check out cancer.ca/shop for your holiday needs??)
Black lives still matter
Women’s rights are still human rights.
Love is still love.
LGBTQ2SIA+ friends still need our mama bear hugs.
No, it’s not perfect. Especially right now. But it can still be beautiful.
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My first Starbucks Christmas cup of the season!
Sundays are the day of the week when beds get stripped, meals get prepped, laundry gets caught up, bathrooms get cleaned, carpets get vacuumed, nails get painted (it’s on my to do list every week to mitigate my nail biting habit), groceries get bought, lunches get made…
It’s usually the busiest day of my week, preparing for Monday to Friday, but it is worth it when I can feed my family after work, or don’t have to trip over piles of clothes on my way to the shower.
But every so often, early on a Sunday morning, I can find a few minutes to myself. I can go for a nature walk, or read my book, or sit and drink my coffee quietly on the couch with my cat or my kids. Today, I enjoyed my Christmas coffee with my pretty, colourful Christmas decorations before the busyness of the day commenced.
Happy Sunday ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Looking for a weekend read while we are sheltering in place again? I recommend this one – Three Women by Lisa Taddeo is like nothing I have read before. The result of eight years of immersive research, these are the true stories of three separate women, woven together into a book that reads like a novel. Following the statutory rape case of Maggie, the loveless marriage and subsequent affair of Lina (who also suffers fibromyalgia!!), and the happy and very open marriage of Sloane, Taddeo explores the wants and needs of women, told from the perspective of women. While there is a focus on sexual and romantic love, Three Women also brings the reader into the minds of each woman and explores womanness in a broader context. This is how each woman feels inside herself separate from men, children, friends, and external expectations.
Each chapter is dedicated to a portion of each woman’s story, moving seamlessly from one to another. I found myself so engrossed in this that I read it in one sitting, reading way past my bedtime to finish it.
This book is graphic, carnal and beautiful. The women shared intimate details that allow the reader to see themselves in each woman and connect to her, despite variances in outward lifestyle, or sexual predilections.
I highly recommend this book. It lives up to the hype and more. (304 pgs)
It’s been about a month of trying to make myself look and feel presentable regardless of working from home.
One of the biggest challenges has been to find a way to dress a much larger body than I have ever had before. Finding things that feel comfortable and also flatter a plus-sized body was hard at first, but it is much more comfortable than and more mentally-calming than trying to force my body back into an old shape.
I am nearly 40, I have chronic pain and autoimmune disorders, I have a fulfilling full-time job, I have two preteen kids, I have a home that needs to be kept up, I have an old cat, and I have mental health concerns. I do not need to add “lose weight” to that list. I exercise gently for the body and brain that I have. I enjoy being out of doors. I enjoy cooking from scratch, mostly plant-based, meals.
And now I enjoy getting dressed with a pared down wardrobe. If something doesn’t fit or feel good, it doesn’t stay, because the newest thing that I want to have is self-confidence and self-esteem.
Kali J Desautels 