Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
A few years ago I was determined to go Zero Waste… and I was doing pretty well… then COVID-19 hit and everything needed to go back to carefully packed, and individually wrapped products.
I still put everything that I can in my beautiful canning jars, and try to reduce waste wherever I can, eliminating as much plastic as is humanly possible, while keeping my friends, family and fellow global citizens safe.
Which means that my kitchen regularly looks like this… LOL!
The best thing about buying items in glass jars?? I get a free reusable jar with every purchase… which then need to be cleaned and stored… and so my kitchen looks like this… again!
Do you ever have a day where you need to get something of your chest, but you’re not 100% sure what it is that you need to get off your chest?
That’s me today. I have tried starting this post 3 times today and each time I write the first word, then delete it. Then focus on something else and come back and do it all over again.
So this post is about that. It’s about needing a brain break, needing to vent, needing to laugh and/or cry, needing to do all of those things and none of them.
I shut down everything for almost a month. I needed to stop. But now, as is my usual way, I am starting to feel better again, and I feel the need restart everything in my life all at once. Which is a terrible idea, and will just continue this insane cycle, where I do too much and then cannot cope and burn everything down.
I don’t know what I need in this moment, and I guess that’s ok.
How about you? Have you been through a cycle in the recent past, the long past, or whenever? What do you do to cope? What do you do for balance?
I love when Monday is the start of a new day and a new month! I am so glad to say goodbye to February, and to plan for a new month with no mistakes in it yet.
The last month has been hard, but it has also had some beauty in it. I found myself struggling to get passed the hard and to find the beauty many of the days, but it was there, regardless.
Today, I have a busy day, starting with another vet appointment for my raggedy man, and ending with taking my kids to get fillings at the dentist, but for the first time in weeks I am approaching the day with optimism and a plan for a good day.
I hope you all have a beautiful Monday, and a beautiful March!
“Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans” ~ John Lennon
Over the past couple of weeks, life jumped up and smacked me in the face hard, not the least of which has been my raggedy old man getting very sick, which at 16 is not a good look for a cat. I had been working away, getting back to blogging, and advocating, and writing, and celebrating my two little fellows’ birthdays, and then I couldn’t anymore.
What do I mean when I say I couldn’t anymore? I mean I couldn’t change my bedding, I couldn’t fix my hair, I couldn’t stand upright, I couldn’t make decisions, I couldn’t cook dinner, I couldn’t even run the robotic vacuum that requires nothing more than a push of the button. I just couldn’t.
This isn’t unusual for me. It usually comes after a period of prolonged good – I am doing well, and working away, and improving the things that I need to improve, and being the daughter, mother, wife, sister, friend that I want to be, something will start to lag. I will notice something slowing, like a record player playing at the wrong speed, my brain begins to draaaaaaag out, and then I crack. Usually when this happens, I provide myself space and peace and hide in bed for a weekend, I spend more money than I should, I order pizza and forget that there are any rules in our home.
This time, though, I can’t do that. I decided that I cannot allow myself to continue bad habits into my 40s. I cannot let my raggedy old man suffer because I am too worn out to even realize that he needs to see a vet. I cannot feed my kids just pizza and hope for the best. So, I asked for help.
The advice that I give to anyone when they are struggling, to talk to a professional, to ask for help, to learn necessary tools to improve their mental health? I took that advice. I reached out to a trusted therapist and told her that I was scared and floundering. I told her that I needed help, and she listened.
Little by little, I am learning new coping skills. I am rooting out the things that trigger the habits that I want to lose, and I am being gentle with myself and my loved ones. I am taking a mental break, and making space for a new wellness. And my raggedy old man.
My boy. My baby. My little man. My cuddle bug. My sarcastic, sardonic funny kiddo. You are eleven years old now. Old enough for your letter from Hogwarts, old enough to qualify as a preteen, but not too old to still curl up on my lap and give bear hugs.
You are quiet, and loud. Calm, and frenetic. You are too many things to put into words. I love breathing in your hair, and kissing your forehead. I love how sweet, and funny, and clever you are.
Happy birthday sweetheart. I’m proud to be your mama.
Happy birthday, B! How can you be 14??? One minute you were a small baby asking your uncles to toss you high into the air, and now you are into your second year as a teen!!
I love you, and your great smile, and you clever sense of humour, and your big, tight hugs. I am so grateful that you came into our family with your inquisitive nature, and your willingness to share your heart with us.
I hope that your COVID, ear infection birthday still manages to bring you joy and happiness ❤️
Happy birthday, Katie-Kat. Sometimes it feels like I have known you forever, and then I remember that it was only about 6 years ago that you intimidated the heck out of me in the deli, with your confident strides and bright blue eyes that made me feel like I was a moron for confusing roast chicken and smoked chicken.
Then one night, when we were there alone and you casually confessed that you, too, suffered from social anxiety and rbf and all bets were off. We became fast friends, and your hugs became the stuff of legend.
You are sweet, and generous, and kind, and you can spot an animal at 900 paces.
Literally.
Any.
Animal.
You love your people so fiercely and with everlasting loyalty. Because you care so much, a friend’s pain becomes your pain, a friend’s kids become your kids, a friend’s pets become your pets.
You are a glowing ball of love and those of us who are blessed to be your friend are better off for it. Your infectious giggle, your unabashed love for the things and people that you love. Your proud mama-hood of Joey. Your adoration of every single Snapchat filter created. Your willingness to let go of the big wedding, for a simple and stunning affair with your love around you. Your Harry Potter memes.
Your youness.
Thank you, Katie, for being the most amazing friend a girl could have. Thank you for your enduring patience and cheekiness. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish you all the love and hugs in the world, and promise that as soon as we are allowed to give you 500 of them!
I am so grateful for the surprise daffodils from my sweet bestie 💛💛💛
This touch of spring in my bedroom has made my day and gave me a much needed smile 💛😍
In addition to being so beautiful, as our organization’s (Canadian Cancer Society) symbol, they are a fantastic reminder that World Cancer Day is this week – February 4th.
If you are looking for ways to make a difference for Canadians living with cancer this year, please visit http://www.cancer.ca, to find meaningful ways to give.
Kali J Desautels 