Welcome to my little corner of the internet.
Happy Halloween 2022
I am so grateful to have spent the last 2 days doin g Halloween things with family and friends, especially my adorable Princess Leia and my sweet little carrot!
Even Sadie was in on the fun!
For those who don’t know, we love Supernatural in this house, and there was a Supernatural animated crossover episode with Scooby-Doo, so L is Sam Winchester, O is Castiel, and Sadie is Scooby Doo.
Happy Dog Day to my little love.
I honestly did not ever see myself being a dog mom, yet here we are and I wouldn’t trade my little love bug for anything in the world.
I used to be a more prolific social media poster. I would write posts and book reviews and share things and repost things sometimes dozens of times a day. I worked really hard at it and was proud of myself when I produced something that resonated or was well written. I would stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning just writing everything that came into my head and I would feel satisfied once I had posted it to Instagram or Facebook or often both.
Now though I struggle to find anything worth sharing. Ever since I started my medication to balance my Bipolar Disorder II, I have found that either I have less to say, or rather less that I feel the need to share publicly. Things I once shared publicly I now find myself sending in a private text message. I will open Instagram with every intention of writing something funny or meaningful or something that I feel is important only to find myself at a loss for words. Then I question whether what I have to say is actually funny or meaningful or important, and close the app.
I don’t know if I will ever find the drive to share like I used to, or if I will ever go back to how I used to be, or if I will find a new way to share things that matter to me. I hope so, because I love to write and I love to engage with you all and I don’t want to lose my voice, but I am also content to have found a better balance in my mental health.
I guess like all things there are seasons and transitions. Maybe that’s what this is. Maybe I will once again post regularly and maybe I won’t. I don’t know. What I do know is that I am happier and mentally healthier than I have been in years, and for now that is enough for me.
Sometimes I just need some water and a friend to soothe my soul. This week I went on my first kayaking adventure to celebrate my friend’s birthday. I was slower than molasses in January but I didn’t tip or fall in and the water was beautifully still.
Posted @withregram • @lgbtqwellness Celebrating and learning from our nonbinary siblings this week, and beyond!
Hey, it’s nonbinary awareness week! Please share this, learn more, and uplift nonbinary and gender expansive folks this week and every week.
✨ Nonbinary genders have always existed
✨ 1.4 million nonbinary people in NA
✨ they/them pronouns or others – all valid!
✨ Use our names and pronouns
✨ Inclusive language benefits us all
✨ We deserve access to safe respectful care
✨ Nonbinary people don’t owe androgyny
✨ Please keep learning and celebrating gender diverse people all year.
✨ Follow nonbinary creators like
@ak.mackellar @alokvmenon @justsaysk @teachingoutsidethebinary @allgendernutrition @youcancallmeaz @zoestoller @genderfenderbender @mattxiv @hooraymae @bobthedragqueen @sheacoulee @folxhealth @kristinrankinhair @sashavelour @corpusren @transcendthebinary_ @dineaesthetics @nbresearchproject @yourbuddymeg @megemikoart and a load more — Who have I missed? Drop it below 👇
“Before you get a dog, you can’t quite imagine what living with one might be like; afterward, you can’t imagine living any other way.” – Caroline Knapp
One year ago this little love bug came into our home and changed it forever. It’s been a whole year of daily walks, barking at birds, trips to the dog park, and more kisses than I could have imagined. Sadie Rose, who usually gets called Sadie Roo because of her propensity to jump like a kangaroo, has been the perfect dog for our family. I was nervous about getting a dog, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had spent most of my life scared of dogs, so the idea of bringing one into our home did not really occur to me. Over the years, and thanks to one very special and well-loved beagle, I outgrew my fear of dogs and fell in love with them.
When this sweet girl was available for adoption, we were so lucky to be picked as her fur-ever family. It feels like she has both always been here and is still our “new” puppy because she just fits into this family so well. She has even grown on her big brother, my beloved raggedy old man ragamuffin cat who doesn’t love other animals, to the point that they share the couch and a water bowl now.
I loved Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette on Netflix in 2018. I loved it because it made me laugh, and it made me cry. I loved it because it was not strictly a comedy show, and it was relatable and it spoke to me in a way that stand up comedy rarely does.
Ten Steps to Nanette: A Memoir Situation was just as amazing as I hoped it would be. Just like Nanette it was funny, and sad, and traumatic, and relatable. It was one of the best memoirs that I have ever read, and that is saying a lot. As is my wont when a book is especially engaging, I read all 378 pages in one day, and know that I will read it again, likely even again this year.
If you are looking for a really, really good book, or if you are a fan of Hannah Gadsby’s, I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend Ten Steps To Nanette.
(2022)
“A new baby is like the beginning of all things – wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities” ~ Eda J LeShan
I am so excited to be able to share the biggest and best news ever! Ty and Danielle are parents! I am so lucky to be auntie to this tiny bundle of goodness! She is one month old and she is so amazing that I am having trouble finding the right words to describe how much she adds to our lives.
I am so proud to be her auntie and I am so grateful to have her as part of our family.
I used to be intimidated by poetry. I had trouble relating to the verse and spent so much time trying to understand the poetry that I did not come close to understanding it.
Over the years, I have fallen in love with poetry, though. I have come to realise that I need to enjoy a poem, rather than to try to break it down into parts. So I came to this book by @atticuspoetry and I devoured it. I started reading a piece at a time, until I became ravenous for it and consumed it all at once.
I highly recommend this book. Whether you think poetry is your thing or not, this book is simply magical.
I have been feeling down the last few days, and today has been no exception. I would like to be in a happier mood and have tried willing myself through positive thinking. Alas, it has come to no avail. I am inexorably sad.
I’d like to point out that this is not the same as when I feel deeply depressed. This is just a continuing low mood, where I feel overly emotional and hyper sensitive. There is no dark deep hole. There is no desire to stay in bed and there is no feeling that even brushing my teeth is too much.
Why am I sharing this? Because in the interest of showing all sides of my mood disorder (bipolar disorder 2), I think it is important to note that sometimes even while undergoing treatment things will make us sad. It’s important to note the difference between sadness and depression. Being down or overly sensitive does not mean that I am depressed, if doesn’t mean I went off my meds; in fact, it shows that my meds are working and allowing me to feel a whole range of emotions. I am no longer stuck in a cycle of hypomania and deep depression. I have a balance. I have days where I am inexorably happy, and nothing will bring me down, I have middling days where ordinary things mean that my day was neither awful nor fantastic, and like today, I have sad days where I am content to go about my quiet day and just accept that I am in a bad mood.
So today I am down. Tomorrow I might be up. Who knows? All that I know is that being treated for BPD2 let’s me function and allows me to find balance and hope that “tomorrow will be a new day with no mistakes in it yet.” (Yes, I will always quote Anne Shirley. Always.)
Kali J Desautels 