It’s ok that you’re not fine. No one expects you to be. No one expects anything right now, and that’s okay, too. How can you expect something that is amorphous? You are probably in your home worrying about your family and friends. You are concerned that you coughed today. Is it dry weather? Allergies? Dust? COVID? While many of us wait in anxiety for daily updates, there are hundreds of people who have never been so busy in their lives. Health care providers, hospital workers, grocery store clerks, pharmacy technicians, public health nurses and doctors, government, researchers, medical scientists are all scrambling to keep us safe, fed, informed, cared for, and treated. They are doing their best to keep society functioning. They are working to find a treatment, or a cure, or at very least keep it from spreading.
I can almost guarantee that no one is alright, and we are all doing what we can to maintain some sense of sanity. Today, I worked at my desk, and tried not to panic about the cough that has been sitting in my throat all day. While I did, my daughter made a pie with my sister, who lives on the opposite end of the country over FaceTime; my brother and sister-in-law dropped off provisions on our porch without any face to face interaction; my dear friends dropped of a beautiful mug (it’s my collection obsession after books) and toilet paper; my husband cleaned our home; my son played with LEGO and his cousin on Fortnite; and my parents staved off their loneliness by adopting 2 kittens.
That sounds okay, right? That sounds like we are all okay? You’re right! It does sound okay! But it’s also not okay – my sister-in-law is worried about her brother quarantined in the UK; my kids couldn’t hug me or kiss me all day just in case my cough is the harbinger of doom; my friends are being run ragged over the inconsistent shipments and demands of the grocery store; my son self-soothes by cuddling in my lap which was not available to him; my work was slowed by the heavy demand on the wifi in my area; my mom is so lonely without her family that the potential of not adopting her new fur babies was heartbreaking to her… I could go on and on, with both okay things and not okay things. But why would I do that? It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel scared and to feel worried. Just remember – while we are scared at home, feeling useless, we are doing our parts to help our fellow citizens who are feeling more pressure than they have ever felt before.