“What did he…really derive from this friendship? He had given, but what had he ever received? What bound them? … there were the accumulated years and the habits of friendship, but there was really nothing at its centre…” ~ Ian McEwan – Amsterdam (1998)
When a person who is a people pleaser begins to resent the recipient of their kindnesses, who is really at fault? Is it the person receiving, who does not feel the same sense of obligation; or is it the person who does not establish clear boundaries to what they are willing to do, and what they need in return?
As I read this, I think of friendships where I have resented, and have surely been resented, and wonder what could have been changed.
Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been "super married" to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book - How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast - it's still on Apple and Google Podcasts - but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
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