Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
It’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay, too. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to curl on the couch and watch Moana with your kids. It’s okay to feel like you are both over and underprepared. It’s okay.
Spring break 2020 looks a little different than we anticipated. All of North America, in fact a lot of the world as a whole, is participating in the most Gwyneth Paltrow of activities since 2016’s “conscious uncoupling” – “social distancing”.
No flying, no travelling, no crowds, no movies, no malls, no theatres, no museums, no play dates. Instead, my family spent Day 1 of Spring Break in the icy clear air taking in the natural wonder of our region. 5k with my kiddos, my fur-niece, and Ty and Danielle! We came home with shiny pink cheeks, frozen noses, and full hearts. The kids loved walking with their auntie and uncle and Charlie, and not once did we hear a single complaint. In fact, we even ran into 2 “no drama llamas” at the trail head! Neither Charlie, nor my boy were very excited about the llamas lol
Thank you to every single person working in health care right now. We see you, trying to calm fears, treat all sorts patients, panicked people, in hot, uncomfortable masks and splash screens and covering gowns. We see you trying to keep people calm, and recommending medications, and checking fevers. Thank you so much.
Thank you to every single person working in retail trying to calm hysterical toilet paper hunters, trying to avoid bringing the virus and fear home to their kids. We see you being treated like personal gofers for every panicked shopper, trying to find every last carton of cold and flu remedy, while being yelled at for not having face masks and hand sanitizer. Thank you so much.
Thank you to every single person who is showing kindness and patience. Thank you to every single person who is trying to remember not to touch their faces, and is leaving the last packet of toilet paper on the shelf because they have some at home. Thank you to all the people who are taking proper precautions and practicing the phrase of the week “social distancing”. Thank you so much.
We can do this. We just need to remember to be kind and grateful and patient. We need to remember to see each other.
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Made a wrong turn, once or twice Dug my way out, blood and fire Bad decisions, that’s alright Welcome to my silly life Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood Miss “No way, it’s all good”, it didn’t slow me down Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated Look, I’m still around Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel Like you’re less than fuckin’ perfect Pretty pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing You’re fuckin’ perfect to me! You’re so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead So complicated, look how big, you’ll make it Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game It’s enough! I’ve done all I can think of Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same Oh, pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel Like you’re less than fuckin’ perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing You’re fuckin’ perfect to me The whole world’s scared, so I swallow the fear The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer So cool and limed and we try, try, try But we try too hard and its a waste of my time Done looking for the critics ’cause there everywhere They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time Why do we do that, why do I do that? Why do I do that? Oh, pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel Like you’re less than fuckin’ perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing You’re fuckin’ perfect to me! You’re perfect, you’re perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing You’re fuckin’ perfect to me Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Alecia Moore / Max Martin / Johan Schuster
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Today some of these women can breathe again. Today some of these women feel heard. Today some of these women received some modicum of justice. Today some of these women saw that they were heard and more importantly, believed. Today some of these women as weeping with relief. Today their tormenter was sentenced to 23 years in prison for his crimes.
Today he said “I’m confused. I’m just confused. Men don’t get it.” Today he said his victims were his friends. Today he said he would appeal. Today he said that the judge was biased against him. Today he said that 23 years not “fair” because at his age it is a life sentence.
You know what, though? Maybe “men don’t get it”, or maybe HE doesn’t get it. Maybe he doesn’t see that his years of wielding influence mean nothing when people stand in your way. His trial reminded me of every man who ever gaslighted a woman – his frail, walker-required stumbling around an act by a man who loves actors. An act where he tries to convince people that he is too old, sick and frail to be the person he is accused of being. An act meant to show that he genuinely had no clue that what he was doing was wrong. It didn’t work. He is not a good enough actor to outperform the truth.
Today we get to see what happens when we stand up to bullies. Today we get to show our daughters that they do not have to be “good”. Today we can feel stronger. Today we can speak up. Today is a lesson that the tradition of letting men of this sort get away with things is on its way to obsolescence.
If the last few years of chaos on this planet has brought anything of value to the world it is the new wave of feminism that is rolling through.
We are organizing and activating and empowering and advocating and marching and suing and standing up and shouting and writing and photographing and supporting and defending and believing and encouraging and dedicating and making and breaking and baring and singing and letting ourselves be seen. We are holding hands with our sisters and are mad as hell. We are recognizing that there is no one way to be a woman.
There is no lady like. As women we are strong, and sweet, and fierce, and brave, and timid, and loud, and shy, and beautiful, and thin, and fat, and made up, and natural, and have acne, and flawless skin, and wear heels, and wellies, and paint our nails, and flip the bird, and wear diamonds, and have tattoos, and are mothers, and are child free, and are sisters, and wives, and girlfriends, and daughters, and straight, and gay, and transgendered, and are models, and truckers, and teachers, and CEOs, and farmers. We are partners, and we are self-partnered, and we are proud, and we are smart, and we are every where and everyone.
To my fierce, beautiful, brave, funny, iconic, intelligent, artistic, creative, kind, clever and amazing ladies, I love you and respect you and will always be here for you. Today is for you.
It has snowed, rained, and been sunny today. I legitimately did nothing but read, listen to power ballads and play Candy Crush today (I won 3 hours worth of lives. How could I waste that??? Seriously!!)
So when it came time to make dinner, my Girlie-girl wanted plain rice with her flu, my boys wanted the left over butter chicken, and I opted for some looney toons vegetarian version of red beans and rice. Spinach, kidney bean, rice, vegetable bouillon, sour “cream”, and chili powder. I must say, it was surprisingly delicious. So much so that I will have it again tomorrow! Easy, filling, and tasty!
Happy birthday to this incredibly beautiful woman! My best friend is celebrating the day of her birth today, which means she gets a sappy love letter on Instagram from me.
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for the days when we text until 2am. Thank you for the days when we just check in because the other one has been too quiet. Thank you for your opinions and thoughts and sense of humour. Thank you for the beauty you find in the world. Thank you for eating jellybeans with me. Thank you for always finding the prettiest Christmas ornaments. Thank you for your taste in music. Thank you for being my non-biological family. Thank you for letting me spin on your kitchen stools for way longer than is appropriate for a 37 year old adult to do. Thank you for books that make us cry and movies where we are the only ones who laugh. Thank you for sharing your girls with me. Thank you for loving my kids like they are your own. Thank you for talking through conflicts or misunderstandings.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for knowing me and still loving me. Happy birthday, Christy. I really, really, really love you.
Happy anniversary, guys. You mark your own trails, do things your own way, and do it while holding hands.
11 years since the first wedding, 1 year since the second (although I feel almost like there were 11 years in that one year…) and still an example of radical candour, fierce love, independent codependency, opposites working so well as a unit, and mature whimsy.
I love you both so much, and am so grateful to have you in our lives. May 2020 be a magical year, where the amazing continues to be your everyday, where hurdles are overcome as a unit, and where there are zero fucks given to things that don’t serve you as a family. Happy anniversary, Ty and Danielle.
Thank you for sharing your life and the fantastic Turenne-Duperron family with us. ❤️
Kali J Desautels 