I like to get things done. I like to try a little harder. I like to push myself a bit more. I have fibromyalgia, which means that some days I feel good and some days I feel awful. Some days I am fighting with my body and trying to pretend that the migraine pulsating behind my left eye is just a headache and eventually the coffee and ibuprofen and naproxen will beat it into submission and I will be able to function. Some days I wake up with little to no pain and feel like I need to get as much accomplished as possible on that day because I know what is coming next. …….
The problem with throwing myself at things on the good days is that I am asking for a bad day to be worse and sooner than if I could manage my days to keep them all around the middle. It is something that I am working on, but it is innately against my personality – my natural state of being is to want to do 50 things at once, and to be as flipping fast as I possibly can at all of them.
Over the past few months, I have been hustling hard – at work, at home, here – trying to achieve a life of great things that I can be proud of. I have been developing content, engaging in webinars, preparing courses to interest all of you, meeting new people, working on Virtual Book Club (which is tonight, btw), volunteering with Women’s March, Lean In Canada, guiding my daughter through her autoimmune attack… All the things, in addition to my regularly scheduled life, and an additional job at work. A couple of days ago my body started to warn me that it was ready to flare and that I needed to slow down. I listened, but not enough.
So, my body took over. My fibromyalgia said – nope. Stop. Sleep. So yesterday, I wound up in excruciating pain, and other than the mama things that cannot be put on hold, I crashed hard. Yesterday and today are cancelled as I let my body rejuvenate and take care of myself. Because there are only so many spoons. …..
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