Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
Day 7 – another wet, wet walk in downtown Vancouver. Regardless of the weather, I love walking around this city. (Of course it’s nicer on a clear day…) Time to get the water in, instead of on now, though!!
“The best paaaaart of working out…” This has been playing in the Folgers’ jingle tune all day. On a cold day, having the opportunity to take a hot shower in the middle of the day was literally what got me into the gym at lunch today!
The last step in my husband’s cancer treatment has been bumped up to this week. So this weekend has become Get-Things-Done time, as well as make my kids feel as secure as possible before their daddy goes in for another surgery. This guy is getting his haircut, we are picking up surgery prep and hospital prep stuff, @u_n_i_c_o_r_n_b_a_b_y_ is at dance… and I am trying to not get ahead of myself.
2020 is going to be a very good year and to kick it off we gathered together for white linen dinner at a restaurant that we would all enjoy that didn’t put the kids to sleep and had enough food for everyone – our local A&W.
We celebrated – 3 human and 1 puppy January baby birthdays, a five year anniversary, a final step in a cancer journey – friends that are also family. Fancy cloths, coordinating denim, lipstick and heels, sport jackets and giant doughnuts!
I am so grateful for this group, and in a very Butch and Sundance way, I am glad we can hold hands and jump into a new year that will leave 2019 as a blip on our life’s radar screen.
And here we are – nearly through the first month of 2020, and so much has happened. My posts have been scant; my time spent on my page less than usual; but I have been busy and I have pretty pictures that may or may not see the light of day. First and foremost, this man has completed his second surgery, closing up the ileostomy left when they removed the cancerous tumour from his rectum. Dave has the best smile, and the fact that last Tuesday he went into this surgery calm and smiling says a lot about our cancer journey. To everyone who has sent the good vibes, prayed hard, and followed his journey for more than a year – thank you. We have received your positivity even when, and most especially when we didn’t have it in us to be positive ourselves. Sitting with Danielle while the snow fell outside, and he was crossing the last big hurdle of this journey, I feel ready to say goodbye to 2019. Goodbye and thank you for the lessons… on top of lessons… on top of lessons… because like it or not, the scariest part is behind us now (sorry… I couldn’t resist the pun…) and we can officially move out of survival mode and start to survey the damage left behind and rebuild.
Just like his favourite footie team @liverpoolfc – he never gave up.
Jagmeet Singh’s beautiful, raw, at time angry, at others painful, memoir is above all about hope. Hope for a solution to childhood pain and abuse. Hope for a better life for mother and siblings. Hope for survival. Hope for a place and a Canada that will embrace him as both Canadian and Sikh, and not cleave those two identities apart as though they could not live in harmony. Now the leader of the NDP (one of the Big 3 Federal parties that govern Canada) Singh illuminates a beautiful narrative about his life as a 1st generation Canadian. Idyllic scenes of family and food and wonder are tempered by horrifying and heartbreaking abuse at the hands of trusted authority figures. Throughout the memoir, Singh takes the opportunity to explain what it means to be Sikh, and how his religious and cultural values are very much part of what makes him Canadian. He also confronts the racism that he has faced as a visible minority in Canada – in fact he boldly opens his introduction with what has now become a viral video of a woman screaming racist and anti-Islamic epithets at him during a speech. For those who have seen the video, you know what happens, and as such – you understand the title of the book. If you have not seen the video yet, it is easily found on YouTube, and is a perfect example of the class and dignity and truly anti-racist values of the author. At 320 pages, it is a sizeable read, and I highly, highly recommend Love & Courage as your next read. If you enjoy memoirs, social sciences, or to better understand the political climate in Canada, pick up Singh’s book.
At this time last week, Danielle and I had lunch at Burgoo on Burrard. She took the time from her busy life to just sit with me while Dave had his surgery and was in recovery. For 12 hours straight we talked, we laughed, we teared up (ok, let’s be honest I teared up) and she helped me by just being herself and being with me. It’s the strangest thing when something that could be an exhausting chore becomes a pleasure just because the person that you are with makes it so. Thank you, Danielle, for being there as you always are. Thank you for braving the crazy weather to come hang out in the strangest hospital. Thank you for being you.
This is 37. For the first time in my adult life, I was able to choose joy when my birthday plans changed.
• my husband had a successful surgery
• it snowed
• I was staying in the cutest motel in Vancouver
• My sister-in-law spent the day with me • My brother brought Cartem’s to the hospital • I brought Breka to the nurses who cared for my husband while they worked a double shift due to the snow
• Before his surgery, Dave took me for a macaron and dinner to celebrate
• my girl and one of my best friends made me a Mala bracelet ❤️
• My dad came to visit at the hospital that night
• AND I got to have a hotel room to myself and all the HGTV that I could watch!
In my 37th year, I will smile more, face my fears and personal demons, be the kind of mom/wife/sister/daughter/friend a person would like to have, and absorb the fact that things do not improve by themselves. To make things better, I have to put in work; I have to be mindful, and I have to remember that mindfulness does not equal perfection, but it does require effort.
Kali J Desautels 