Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson – Self Reliance (1841)#literaryquotes #selfreliance #ralphwaldoemerson #emerson #transcendentalism #transcendentalist #quotes #quotestoliveby #reading #reader #womanapp #women #readersofinstagram #reading #reader #essay #books #bookclub #book #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #kalidesautelsreads #bibliophile
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This is not really a review so much as a full geeking out over a gift. Eleven is my Doctor and I adore the fantasy of the various characters that populate the Doctor Who Universe. My son and I both adore anything related to Doctor Who and this is a very fun book!
The Vagina Monologues started as a dramatic presentation of the stories and representations of women and our relationships to ourselves, specifically sexually. Raising awareness of violence against women, and the sexual repression of women, from a generation when women were taught that discussion of vaginas was vulgar and why would one want to talk about “down there”. Covering topics from self study, self pleasure, sex, and birth, The Vagina Monologues is a wonderful, poetic, meaningful book. The pain and the pleasure, the misery and release are written clearly, reclaiming words that have been turned against women, and reminding the reader that the sisterhood of women is global. In an age where we freely speak the word Vagina with impunity, the words in this book are not as edgy as they were in 1998, but it is because of this book, and its contemporaries that it is no longer edgy. While only 185 pages, and very engrossing, it is not an easy read by any means, but it is iconic and must be read.
The pronunciation is never the same as mine, but I never tire of stumbling across my name in print. #thevaginamonologues #evensler #hinduism #kali #goddess #imKaylee #notKahlee #books #nameinprint #book #booknerd #bookclub #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookclubofinstagram #read #reader #reading #readers #readersofinstagram #kalidesautelsreads
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I will write a review of this book when I stop sobbing… right now, a PSA – do NOT read the last chapter on the train, unless sobbing in public is something you love to do. “So much eye rain.”
The dichotomy that is me – The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler and Candy Floss tea in a Dory mug. Women are all things. #vaginamonologues #eveensler #nonfiction #feminism #dory #davidstea #candyfloss #bibliophile #bookstagramfeature #book #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookclub #feminist #feministicon #gloriasteinem #read #reader #readers #reading #readersofinstagram #kalidesautelsreads
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Today, it is not about writing. It is not about great and not so great books. It is about Amanda Todd, Rehteah Parsons, Sladjana Vidovic, Phoebe Prince, Tyler Clementi, Jamie Hubley, Audrie Pott, Kenneth Wisehuhn, Jadin Bell, Emilie Olsen, Nakia Venant, and the thousands of other kids and teens who were bullied to death. Today is not about generalized schoolyard teasing, it is not about friends ribbing each other good humouredly. Today is about a culture of sustained, aggravated, malicious, intensive maltreatment of fellow human beings, to the point that no intervention will do anything to stop it. To the point that the victim sees no alternative other than to end it all. Today is Anti-Bullying Day.
Across the world today, we are wearing pink shirts, and it is not because “On Wednesdays, we wear pink”. It is because kids, such as those portrayed in Tina Fey’s Mean Girls (from whence we learned the above quote), have taken meanness too far. It is because adults have been conditioned to look out “for number one”, and that “it’s not personal, it’s just business”, to the point that there is an environment of high school bullying in the workplace. I have heard over the years that everyone is bullied, and that we need to have a thicker skin, but that has little of anything to do with actual bullying. I was teased for being a goody goody, a teacher’s pet, and a crybaby. It hurt, and I didn’t like it, but that wasn’t bullying. That is kids being mean. When kids form hate groups designed to do nothing but pick on one girl, until she has to change schools in order to rediscover her self worth, that is bullying. When the internet allows for gossip to spread quicker than a California brushfire, when images can be photoshopped and texted to an entire class, when school halls spread into the world, and the girl who changes schools finds that her new school has already been poisoned against her before she even stepped foot in the door – that is bullying in today’s world. We used to be able to leave the teasing at school, and if it went on, we would pretend to have the flu for a day or two, but eventually, that sort of meanness would move along to the next weakest person. Now the school halls are every where. They are in bed where the victim seeks refuge with his cellphone to escape the misery. They are in the movie theatre, where the victims phone buzzes with each vitriolic tweet. They are everywhere. Today, we remind each other that this has to stop. Today, we show the victims that we are listening.
That said, we must truly listen. We cannot simply don a pink shirt, feel benevolent and move on. Today is not about just today. Tomorrow, when we all change back into our black shirts, we need to remain allies. We need to speak to our kids about what is acceptable behaviour. We need to remember that teens think adults are out of touch, and create interventions that will allow them to feel loved and supported. We need to teach children that there is no excuse for this. And we need to define the difference between kids being mean, and bullying. I have noticed that “bullying” has become shorthand for “he won’t play with me”, and “she made fun of my drawing”, and I feel that the watering down of the word is doing bullying victims a serious disservice. What happens when we hear the same word over and over? We become desensitized to it, and instead of taking bullying allegations seriously, we instruct our children to learn to deal with it. But that is not possible. How do you just “deal” with the I Hate Hannah Club? How do you just “deal” with photos of your rape being used as “evidence” of your promiscuity? How do you just “deal” with a grown man in a completely different country cyberstalking you, a child, and ensuring that no matter where you go, you will be tormented? The answer is that you can’t. You need help.
This morning, my son, who has worn his pink shirt any day of the year, cried when we reminded him to wear it. He had been teased and told that “pink is a girl’s colour” (which opens a whole other can of worms about gender discrimination. But that is for another post on another day.), and due to that teasing, he did not want to wear pink. When we got to daycare, there was the boy that had teased him, wearing a pink shirt. The point is that, yes, kids can be mean. They can lash out and say mean things without thinking. It can make you cry, but we need Pink Shirt Day for this reason – if the meanness is allowed to continue, it can grow; we need to learn ourselves, and teach our children that under no circumstances is it ok to intentionally hurt another person. Ever. There is a large percentage of the global population that believes that bullying is the best way to get ahead, and sadly, we reinforce this by promoting bullies, by electing them to the highest offices, by deferring to them. But today is about making this stop. Today is about remembering those who didn’t survive their bullying, speaking up for those who are being bullied now, and for beginning the discussion that will allow us to move forward, into a kinder society.
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“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” – Anne Shirley – LM Montgomery – Anne of Green Gables (1908)
This has been my motto since I was 7 years old and met my beloved Anne-Girl for the first time. Now I keep it tacked up at my desk, so when the day gets to me, I just imagine the fiery redhead who got into scrapes, and think it will all be ok.
Kali J Desautels 