Originally intended to simply focus on book reviews, over time, KaliDesautelsReads has morphed into its own entity.
I write about issues that are near to my heart, be they political, feminist, motherhood, mental health, or, as the title holds, books.
A thirty-something Canadian woman in my mid-thirties, I have been “super married” to my high school sweetheart since 2006, and together we have two crazy, clever, kind, hilarious, wonderful kids.
My first book – How Not To Blog: Finding Myself, One Post at a Time is available on Amazon (in eBook formats for you clever tech readers, and paperback for those of us who love that new book smell!)
I have tried a podcast – it’s still on Apple and Google Podcasts – but writing is where my heart is.
My life changed dramatically when my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer in 2018, and I am now a writer for a leading Canadian Cancer Non-Profit.
I am lucky enough to have a family that loves me and pushes me to be my best, even if it is outside of my cushiony comfort zone. I have a village of friends that nourish me, mentally, and spiritually.
Welcome to my thoughts. Sit down. Stay a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee!
We found us some chickens on our walk, and this handsome fella. My friend and we’re enamoured, and she explained that in Iran and in Turkey she had baby chicks as pets! Taking an animal lover for a walk past the farms at Jerry Sulina Park was pretty much the best way ever to start my day! Thanks, Mona!! ❤️❤️❤️
My mom has always taught me that when you feel like your mood is going to get the better of you, put on some music and dance it out. So, one clean kitchen, a week worth of carrot smoothies later, my attitude has been firmly adjusted. The playlist? Let’s see…
• Cooler Than Me by @mikeposner • Meet Me In Montana by @marieosmond and Dan Seales
• Turn Back Time by @cher • The Anthem by @goodcharlotteband • Man In Motion (St Elmo’s Fire) by @johnparrofficial • We Didn’t Start The Fire by @billyjoel • Just Give Me A Reason by @pink and @nateruess • Jump Around by House of Pain
• Uptown Funk by @iammarkronson and @brunomars • You Look Good In My Shirt by @keithurban • Jack and Diane by @johnmellencamp • Old Time Rock n Roll by @bobseger • Feel Good Inc. by @gorillaz • Fergalicious by @fergie • I’m An Albatraoz by @aronchupa • We Speak No Americano by @yolandabecooler • Monster by @eminem and @badgalriri • The Boxer by @paulsimonofficial Simon and Garfunkel
• Forever In Blue Jeans by @neildiamond • Wannabe by @spicegirls • Gimme More by @britneyspears • Sexy Bitch by @davidguetta and @akon • Get Ur Freak On by @missymisdemeanorelliott • 1,2,3,4 by @alanthomasdoyle
Ok… so I have an eclectic taste in music… and I should probably learn to clean my kitchen faster… 🤣
Spring and summer is my favourite time of the year to cook – I love using the BBQ grill! Lunch today includes Amy’s Kitchen California Organic Plant-based patty, organic mesclun greens, salsa, a good old fashioned cheese single, and a sesame bun. On the BBQ, the party becomes nice and and the fresh veggies and salsa are all that is needed.
Who’s the best in every way, and wants to sing this song to say
Bing Bong, Bing Bong!”
My boy has gone to Disneyland with his Auntie and Uncle this weekend to close out spring break, and my brother sent me this picture of Bing Bong on a huge pile of candy, that I can only assume is a candy store in Pixar Pier in California Adventure.
You guys, I get that Inside Out is directed at kids and that Bing Bong is an imaginary friend, but my goodness that movie gives me all the feels, Bing Bing especially. As a person who has spoken openly about mental health, I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of a movie that teaches kids that all of their feelings have value and how to approach them. So, if you are not lucky enough to be running around Disneyland with heroes, like my son is this weekend, consider watching Inside Out with your kids and talking to them about the themes in the movie. It is never too early to start talking about how kids feel and why.
Also – when they talk about them, try not to dismiss them. The things that sound small to you feel awfully big for littles. And like the saying goes – if you don’t listen to the small things, they won’t tell you about the big ones.
Girls CAN do anything. Boys CAN do anything. Our kids have so much potential locked inside of them that it is our jobs, as parents, to allow them freedom to explore the world, in order to let that potential out, whilst teaching them to be contributing members of society. It is NOT our jobs as parents to criticize and berate our kids so that they become people who are afraid to step one toe out of the lives that we build around them. That does not build whole, amazing people; that develops scared, anxious people who do not know whether they are ever doing things correctly.
The hardest part as parents is remembering to set safe boundaries for our kids, so that they have room to explore, without feeling it might be fun to change a lightbulb with 2 chairs stacked on top of each and a serrated knife in hand. It is so easy to fall into the trap of dictating to our kids “do this. Don’t do that!” on the little, mundane nonsense like how to hold a fork. If your child is over 2, there is a good chance he can figure out how a fork works without being told over and over. Now, if he is using his fork to catapult peas across the kitchen, that might be a time to step in. We need to remember that our kids are not just OUR kids – they are whole humans with their own likes and dislikes, thoughts and goals, and personalities, and the over criticism and punishing of these little humans is akin to the joke “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves”. Give your kid space, and don’t hover, and don’t get after them for doing things different than you do. If you do, you may find that your child will need A LOT of therapy, and may decide she needs to bring you to her job interviews and her first day at whatever job she manages to find that doesn’t care that fully grown adult has her mom with her.
Sometimes I am selfish and thoughtless and too caught up in my own drama to be the friend/sister/daughter/mother/granddaughter/wife that I want to be and that my friends and family deserve. Sometimes I get my priorities messed up and don’t show the people that mean the most to me that they mean the most to me.
And then other times, when I remember to look up from my own mess, I show up. I show up with candy, and salsa, and wine, and books (always books), and I let the people whom I love know that I love them, and that when they shared their struggles, and stresses, and fears that I was standing there ready to receive them and to be the support they needed. Do you want to know an incredible truth about showing up for others? It forges a bond of mutual love and support that when I do get sucked into my own drama, and I can’t figure out which way is up, my loved ones show up for me.
This picture was when my best friend and I spent her most recent milestone birthday in Hawaii. It is one of my two favourite photos of her, coincidentally both taken on that trip.
Guess what? We all have stuff in our lives that is awesome and we all have stuff in our lives that sucks. And when we compare our awesome or our crummy to someone else’s, we may be mistaking their crummy for awesome and vice versa. So you know what? Do your thing. I’ll do mine. We can walk alongside each high fiving when things are great, and picking each other up when things suck. We can all make it.
Repost @jasminestar
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Shout out to the crazies, hustlers, and dreamers. Abundance is everywhere.
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Tag someone you want to succeed with TOGETHER and let’s slay the day!
Wanna know what comes from a cancer diagnosis, and open heart surgery in one family?? A reminder that our health is MORE important than the convenience of fast food. We have been working to continue to be low waste, and I wish that berries came in bulk 🤔, but I need to protect my kids from these hereditary health concerns to the best of my ability, and that starts with modelling and providing a healthy lifestyle to them. So, I have stocked up on the necessities for the week, making sure to remember that school is back on Monday, and the kids will need their meals prepped.
Plus, how flipping pretty is a cart of colourful fruits and veggies???
Oh my gosh you guys!! My heart feels so full today!! One year ago (March 31, 2018) I was in Manhattan to celebrate my baby sister’s 30th birthday and I took a picture of the sign at Rockefeller Centre for the Simon and Schuster Building, manifesting my dream of being a published author there one day! Less than a year later, they are FOLLOWING ME!!! on Instagram. Can you imagine how I feel right now?? This is so magical for me!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Kali J Desautels 