Girls CAN do anything. Boys CAN do anything. Our kids have so much potential locked inside of them that it is our jobs, as parents, to allow them freedom to explore the world, in order to let that potential out, whilst teaching them to be contributing members of society. It is NOT our jobs as parents to criticize and berate our kids so that they become people who are afraid to step one toe out of the lives that we build around them. That does not build whole, amazing people; that develops scared, anxious people who do not know whether they are ever doing things correctly.
The hardest part as parents is remembering to set safe boundaries for our kids, so that they have room to explore, without feeling it might be fun to change a lightbulb with 2 chairs stacked on top of each and a serrated knife in hand. It is so easy to fall into the trap of dictating to our kids “do this. Don’t do that!” on the little, mundane nonsense like how to hold a fork. If your child is over 2, there is a good chance he can figure out how a fork works without being told over and over. Now, if he is using his fork to catapult peas across the kitchen, that might be a time to step in. We need to remember that our kids are not just OUR kids – they are whole humans with their own likes and dislikes, thoughts and goals, and personalities, and the over criticism and punishing of these little humans is akin to the joke “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves”. Give your kid space, and don’t hover, and don’t get after them for doing things different than you do. If you do, you may find that your child will need A LOT of therapy, and may decide she needs to bring you to her job interviews and her first day at whatever job she manages to find that doesn’t care that fully grown adult has her mom with her.
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Kali J Desautels 
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